


You're never too good for me

by crookedspoon



Series: Spicing up the Autumn 2017 [5]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Age Difference, Crack Treated Seriously, Cuckolding, Cunnilingus, F/M, Kidnapping, Objectification, POV Colin Greenmantle, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 12:55:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12276906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedspoon/pseuds/crookedspoon
Summary: When Greenmantle ordered the Greywaren to be delivered to him, he didn't expect to lose his wife (partner? lover?) over it.





	You're never too good for me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Taeru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taeru/gifts).



> For Kinktober Day 5: "Cuckolding"
> 
> Not the Greenmantle/Kidnapping AU I expected to write when I first considered it last year, but this particular idea cracked me up too hard to pass up.
> 
> Many thanks to Tae, who always supports my ideas, no matter how dumb, cracky, or ill-advised. Such a bro. :')

When Greenmantle ordered the Greywaren to be delivered to him, he didn't expect to lose his wife (partner? lover?) over it.

Well, not exactly _lose_ her. It wasn't like he had misplaced her or anything, although Piper has a penchant for misplacing herself, in the sense that he cannot find her in the place he thought she'd be and doesn't know where else to look.

Not that he'd go looking for her himself, of course. He would send someone, but lackeys rarely come with enough higher brain function to be methodical about their search. They're just good for the legwork.

That was why he liked the Gray Man. He was an exception. And _that_ was why Greenmantle continued to be patient with him even after he felt the need to betray him. Such a shame, really. Greenmantle couldn't blame him – who wouldn't want to possess an object that lets you take anything out of your dreams – but he blamed him anyway. Even when he finally came to his senses and agreed to hand over the Greywaren, Greenmantle couldn't forgive him. He didn't try to but perhaps he should have. Holding grudges is just so base, nothing he'd want to partake in had he any choice in the matter. But man is an ape and as distinguished as Greenmantle himself may be, he still belongs to a species that remains deeply flawed despite tens of thousand of years of evolution.

It didn't occur to him to consider that, by design, the Gray Man was flawed as well. Perhaps that was too obvious. Else why he screw over his employer?

He did try to make good with Greenmantle by finally doing the job he had been hired for and handing over the Greywaren, but by that time Greenmantle's patience had run out. He hoped Dean Allen had enjoyed the parting gift he got him.

The Greywaren, when it finally arrived on his doorstep, was not what he had expected. He had not expected a lot, as these things were bound to disappoint you, but after spending five years searching for it he had come to picture something... _more._

This wasn't it.

First of all, it was not an "it." It was a young boy, and it looked vaguely familiar. (After thinking about the Graywaren as an object for so long, Greenmantle was not about to stop referring to it as such anytime soon.)

Second, it was kicking and screaming. His employees had a hard time handling it. Until it spotted Greenmantle and stopped struggling so hard for a moment.

"What the fuck, man?" it snarled. "You're that new Latin teacher. If this is about my grades, I got it covered. I'm not interested in private lessons."

Third, it was already giving him a headache. He does not have the facilities for storing it, since he never considered any of his items to one day be needing _facilities_ to keep themselves clean. Greenmantle would rather leave that to itself instead of hiring someone to take care of that. Each new person who would be handling it would pose a security risk.

In his anticipation, he'd had a glass case set up in his basement, apart from his other trophies. The Greywaren would be too valuable to be displayed for casual inspection by visitors. And in its current state, it wasn't yet fit to be displayed.

It would get there in time, Greenmantle would make sure of that.

\---

The first time it dreamed for him, Greenmantle was so beside himself with excitement, he called Piper to witness the object it had produced.

"An ashtray?" she asked, unimpressed, that ugly dog hanging over her arm. " _This_ is what you called me here for? Wow, Colin, you pathetic excuse for a collector. You waste all this time on your new plaything and can't even make it create anything useful."

The Greywaren snickered behind its gag, but Greenmantle ignored it. "It was just _there_ all of a sudden, I saw it happen. And then it was like it always had been there, but it hadn't been."

Piper is too composed and too concerned with her appearance to ruin it by rolling her eyes, but her glare stated her thoughts as clearly as if she had said them aloud: "whatever."

"'Fuck you'?" She read the inscription in the bowl, then eyed the Greywaren. It was grinning at her saucily as much as its gag would allow, clearly pleased with its insolence.

"It thinks it's cute."

"I agree with it. Fuck you," she said and floated out of the room again.

The Greywaren's gaze followed her, interested, leering, calculating.

\---

Out of all his trophies, none have been more frustrating. First he sank years and resources into its search, then he couldn't make it perform on command.

Intimidation didn't work on it. There was nothing it held dear, not even its own life, such as it was. Perhaps especially not its own life, but unfortunately for Greenmantle it would be of no use to him dead, because then it would cease functioning.

Soon, he considered discarding it, but couldn't decide if it belonged with organic or hazardous waste.

"Can I keep it?" Piper asked when he wanted her opinion. "I can't promise I won't break it, though. You know me."

"Keep it, break it, toss it out with yesterday's trash. It's all the same to me."

He was getting tired of it. Let her try her luck. Perhaps if he neglected it for a while and left it at his wife's mercy, it might come to understand what a benevolent master he was compared to her and would finally be willing to cooperate.

"Perhaps you can even get it work."

"Hmm, perhaps." Her smile was sly. "Some things require a woman's touch, after all."

\---

He should have seen it coming after that remark. Why hadn't he? Oh right, because he considered the Greywaren to be a mere step above her hairless dog only by virtue of having the potential to be useful to him. 

So the first time he caught her in bed with it came as a surprise. Though he didn't so much "catch" them together as he was led to discovering them. 

She had asked him to come into the bedroom with her throatiest voice, but he had been too busy negotiating with that Chinese woman on the telephone to jump to action right away.

Once the call had concluded, Greenmantle found a trail of clothes leading to their bedroom. The door was wide open.

He didn't need to walk inside to imagine Piper would be propped up like a queen on a pile of pillows, displaying her juicy parts to him, waiting for him to come taste her.

But she wasn't waiting for him to do that. From the hallway, he could see it was already being done to her.

Kneeling on the ground in front of the bed was the Greywaren, its head between her thighs. It was flicking its tongue over her private parts and teasing its fingers into her. A dark collar encircled its throat and a leash connected it to a knot around the nearest bedpost.

"Is this what you have been teaching it all this time?" Greenmantle asked as he stepped closer and crossed his arms. He should have known they'd be getting along just fine. They both had very narrow skill sets, after all.

"It's got a clever tongue," she said, carding her fingers through its hair. "It would have been a shame not to put it to good use."

"I'm right here, you know." 

Greenmantle was a little surprised when he heard it speak and saw it sit back on its heels. It had been so silent and complicit he'd thought it must have been drugged out of its mind. Though perhaps it was. Its gaze was heavy and dark, its mouth glistening, its fingers continuing to pump into her.

Greenmantle leveled his gaze at it, but didn't dignify it with a response, because _obviously._

Piper's grip in its hair turned to steel as did her eyes. She sat up to unhook its leash from its collar, and its gaze shifted up towards her. Without ceremony, she threw it on the bed and turned it to lie on its back.

"I'm doing you a favor by letting you service me," she said as she climbed on top of it, aligning her pelvis with its face. "Now you do me a favor and keep your mouth shut while the grown-ups are talking. And keep licking."

"Yes, ma'am." Its tone was amused, but its laughter broke off when she sank down on it.

"And don't call me ma'am."

He watched her hair spill down her back as her head tipped backwards, and examined that curious feeling in your gut. Could it be jealousy? He doesn't like it when someone touched his stuff without his permission, but Piper didn't care if she broke a rule or hurt his feelings. In this case he didn't know if he objected more to the idea of one of his possessions touching his wife intimately or to his wife misappropriating one of his possessions.

"Could you ever make it dream anything for you?" he asked as he circled the bed, because that was the only thing that truly mattered.

"Lots of things," she purred. It boosted her ego to succeed where he had failed. "It gave me a purse to carry Otho around in. That was the first one, not long after the ashtray."

That must have been back when he was still trying to make it do his bidding. But it had been stubborn and refused to work.

Yet for some reason it had dreamed something for her on its own accord, and without him noticing besides. Greenmantle was huffy about that. It was marginally reassuring that the Greywaren could be made to heel after all.

Perhaps some things were indeed better left in a woman's hands.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Darling Young Boyz" by Mindless Self-Indulgence.
> 
> I... am considering turning this into a series, because part of me wants to explore Greenmantle torturing K.


End file.
